He followed me. I wondered: What did I look like to him in that moment,…
I wanted to be outside tonight as the full moon is rising, in the settle down of dusk that has always been my favorite time of day. The veils between the worlds are said to be thinner at twilight, with spirits and guardians and angels weaving in closer than during other times of the day, especially on full moons. I spent today writing, letters and cards of thank you and of I’m so sorry for your loss and of please forgive me if my need for silence alone hurts you, and then I wrote a love poem that surprised me because it was full of hard-won forgiveness that took me some time to offer to the person I wrote it for.
These last weeks have been spent in stillness and silence so full that I wonder at times if that is the space where the gods speak to us, when we settle ourselves into still and silent enough to listen within and beyond ourselves. I’m seeing this moment as an invitation to listen, and to say all of the thank you and the I’m sorry and the I forgive you and the I love you that I feel or know I need to say, and then I walk outside to look at the vast sky and be reminded that life always renews itself before and within us when we allow it to. I finished the love poem while the light was changing and then walked out into it, to watch the full moon rise on one side of me and the sky swath orange and lilacs on the other side of me while I moved between two different kinds of light merging the air around me.
I hope that you are safe and held, that you are hearing the gratitude and forgiveness and love that you need to hear, and that the full moon tonight lights up the path before you so that you know the step that your truest heart most wants for you to take. I may be away from here and from social media in general for days on end, but I’m still listening, and I’m still sending prayers for love and grace to hold you as we find our way.
All peace to each one of you.